(no subject)

[the writing is incredibly unsteady, as if written with a shaking hand]

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I

I need to

Haha there's just so many things in my skull right now I wouldn't even know where to ...

Shadow and darkness and madness. I thought I'd -- I thought it had gone, I thought I was free of that. Doom of the Phoenix, and this was ... this was going to be our glorious rebirth, this was our vengeance. This was for you, Mother. This was your vengeance.

But she screamed.

She screamed and screamed like her soul was being torn out and

Oh, please, just stop screaming.

I --

Pull it together, you miserable pathetic little boy. You outlasted it all, you ... you stood strong while a wave of flame wiped out every single person who shared your blood, every single one. I was the one left standing at the end. I was stronger than any of them. I am stronger than Westa, because she would have cracked, too. I serve no one. I am ... I am ...

... I ... am going to be sick.

Pull it together. Pull it

Just

stop screaming

please.